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Max Payne

2004

"Look, it's Payne!"

There are a lot of great little details in "Max Payne", like when you enter a room as the title character--cop on the edge, investigating a murder over the course of a rough day and night--and bad guys see you and yell out things like the above quote.  It seems that everybody wants Payne dead...perfect, since you are quite interested in similar goals.

The body count in "Max Payne" is high, thanks to its signature "Bullet Time" and "ShootDodge" modes.  Slow-motion kills are simply awesome in this game, and the weapon selection means that you are diving around in slo-mo, firing twin handguns or heavy weapons at a slew of bad guys all while seeing bullets wiz by your man in black.  Puzzle elements are sparse; you aren't asked to think very often, just to pull the trigger, which is just the way Daddy likes it sometimes.

The main beef that anyone has with "Max Payne" starts with those scenes that lead off the chapters where Max is stuck in a dream; I just about broke the disc in half each time I died while falling into an infinite space while hearing Max scream...only to have to start all over again each time.  Ugh!  Also, there are times where even Bullet Time is not enough to stop cheap kills like levels early on in the third chapter, where it seems like bad guys are using heat-seeking missiles or grenades to take down Mr. Payne.  Finally, in the PS2 version, levels are simply too short and load times are Payneful, and seriously, no pun intended.

However, if you like to pull the trigger, there are not many better games for that on the system.

Rating:  $40

 

Feedback?  Comments?  Hot doughnut tip?  justin@bellviewmovies.com

 

Bellview Rating System:

"Opening Weekend":  Buy this game right away, and don't ask me any questions as to why that's a good move.  A game experience that will almost guarantee repeated controller abuse, lots of ManScreaming and high resale value, you will assuredly play this bad boy for months on end. 

"$40":  Usually after games have been out for a while, they drop in price slightly, or can be bought for slightly cheaper in combination with other new games.  Usually, that's about $40.  You'll feel good getting the game for this price, since it isn't quite run-out-and-get-it-right-now good, but it has enough game in the box for a few weeks' worth of enjoyment.

"eBay":  This game is not too bad, but you'd be better off buying it used from either half.com or eBay.  You also might let a friend buy this game, let s/he beat it, and then try to buy it from them to make them feel better.  Yes, this does tend to feel like "Sloppy Seconds."

"Rental":  Like my cousin Ron, you should always rent games that you aren't sure about first, to make sure that your $50 is going towards something worthwhile.  For games in this category, this is the maximum amount of money ($5) and/or time (3-5 days) you'll need to either gain satisfaction from the game, or beat the game in its entirety.  Rental-rated games are also sometimes perfect for a weekend when you are going to be at home on your ass, with some time to kill.

"Dogshit":  Games like this should have never been released.  If you play this game for any reason, you will regret every second of the experience.  Further, if you can get this game for free, don't do it, because even for FREE, it will still be a negative experience for you!