"The X Files: I Want to Believe"
Directed by Chris Carter.
Written by Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz.
Starring David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, Amanda Peet and Billy
Release Year: 2008
Review Date: 8/2/08
Please note: I am NOT an "X Files" fan.
I watched the TV show maybe five times (it was on for nearly ten
seasons), and I saw the previous movie, "X Files: Fight the Future",
back in '98 and thought it was pretty good. But, I cannot go
toe-for-toe with any fan who knows the back story for the side
characters of the show, or why Mulder and Scully never got it on
during the show's run, or all of the freakin' aliens these guys took
So, when the newest "X Files" movie came
out, I decided the only way I would go see this movie is if I could
see it with a fan of the show...enter one Gordon "The Professional"
Stokes, who was such a diehard of this show that he had an X Files
poster in his apartment up until he moved. (He might even
still have it...but, after this movie, he might take that puppy
Here's the best way to summarize the new
movie--no freakin' aliens. That's right: NO FREAKIN'
ALIENS. Now, if I called my movie "Klan Members Get Set on
Fire", one would expect KKK members to, you know, get set on fire.
So, if you call your movie "X Files", one would expect there to be
something based on the TV show, or even paranormal about the plot.
Uhh, no. In the new film, "The X
Files: I Want to Believe", Mulder (David Duchovny) and Scully
(Gillian Anderson) are lured out of FBI retirement to help feds
(including, uh, rapper Xzibit, the biggest actor-to-character
stretch in modern movie history) catch a suspect who has abducted an
FBI agent...the hook is that the feds are using a psychic/convicted
pedophile (Billy Connolly) to catch this suspect, and they only know
of two people crazy enough to sign on with this case.
For me, the film was very ordinary.
Mulder and Scully are fine to watch as partners, the case is
interesting but never that engaging, there may be no action but we
are given little bits and pieces of the case randomly enough that I
was intrigued, soundtrack is blah, no special effects, no stunt
sequences, no surprises. It actually would make a
better-than-average TV movie, but as a theatrical release, it
For Gordon, the fan, I sensed disappointment
from the get-go. Gordon normally comes off as this very kind,
very humble person, but in the company of me--someone who brings out
the worst in everyone--he was a little more apt to express some
anger. He wrote this to include in the review:
"...according to your rating scale, I'd
go with Matinee. Not a great movie by any stretch of the
imagination. However, X Files always dealt with 'life themes'
beyond aliens, monsters and weirdos. They tried to explore some of
that in the movie (Scully's faith, Mulder trying to redeem himself,
their relationship). Though I was ultimately angered by the lack of
aliens, I could have gone with a crime investigation movie. But, if
you're going to have a bizarre crime happen, give me something
really bizarre, like the episodes with the chubacabra or the worm
man or something really paranormal. I guess I'll sit on my disgust
and wait for that big ship full of green men to show up."
And there you have it. If you want to
see this film, it is fading VERY fast, so you better hurry and catch
it, or accept the three-month wait until the DVD comes out in time
for the holidays.
Comments? Drop me a line at
Bellview Rating System:
"Opening Weekend": This is
the highest rating a movie can receive. Reserved for movies that
exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development,
setting...or Salma Hayek. Not necessarily in that order.
"$X.XX Show": This price
changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently,
it is the $9.50 Show. While not technically perfect, this is a
movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.
"Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca",
but you'll have a great time watching. The $9.50 Show won't win any
Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see
"Matinee": An average movie
that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.
Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about
yourself. A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave
the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that
Lakers game last night?"
"Rental": This rating
indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your
friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one." Mostly forgettable, you
couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to
watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the
video store was out of copies of "Ronin." If you can, see this
movie for free. This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a
"Hard Vice": This rating is
the bottom of the barrel. A movie that only six other human beings
have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen. A Shannon
Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every
one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a
movie. Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or
"Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this
movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!
(Warning: strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard