"The Thomas Crown Affair"
Directed by John McTiernan.
Written by Leslie Dixon and Kurt Wimmer. Based on the 1968
film of the same name.
Starring Pierce Brosnan, Rene Russo and Denis Leary.
Release Year: 1999
Review Date: 8/8/99
Hope that y'all had a very good weekend.
Before this review, I wanted to close the book on
"The Blair Witch
Project" with a couple of quick points:
1) I just want to remind everyone again to
please, please, please do not send out "reply to all" e-mails to the
group about how wrong or right my ridiculous opinions are about
these movies. If you want to tell me what an idiot I am for
thinking that "Austin Powers" blew or that I was right on what crap
"Wild Wild West" was, please feel free to tell JUST ME. A few
people have unsubscribed because they didn't like getting e-mails
from people that they didn't know, and I feel like I have to pay for
those mistakes. Now granted, I thought Mike's e-mail last week was
pretty funny, but I don't know if the other 100 people cared.
2) Charles "Chuck" Longer and I were
talking about the "BWP" phenomenon a couple of days ago, and this is
what we agreed on: everyone that we know that saw it before it went
national thought it was the scariest movie they had seen in a while;
*every single person* that has seen it since last weekend, when it
went into about a thousand theaters, thinks everything from "It
sucked" to "I can't believe they didn't show the witch" to "The
dialogue sucked" to "It wasn't even scary" to "Me with my shirt off
is ten times scarier than that." Hey, it seems hard to explain, but
hype is starting to kill this movie. I could care less, since I
think it's the best movie of the summer besides "The Matrix" right
now, but if you aren't scared by this movie's ending (or its
enduring last shot), then, well, you just aren't a movie fan.
With all of that said, "C-Lo" Loatman and I
went for something that was a bit easy on the palette. The great
thing about "The Thomas Crown Affair" for us was that neither one of
us had seen more than a newspaper ad about this movie, so we knew
almost nothing about the plot or the Steve McQueen original made
years ago. And that made a difference, since I felt like I got to
see two hours of original movie. Bleeding with cool, the movie
stars Pierce Brosnan as Thomas Crown, superrich head of an M&A firm
in New York that seems a bit bored by just being really loaded. So,
in his spare time, Crown steals famous paintings from the Met to
cover the walls of his terribly expensive Manhattan apartment. At
the start of the movie, through a pretty impressive setup, he jacks
a Monet from the impressionist exhibit at the museum.
Enter the crafty insurance agent (Rene
Russo) assigned to track down the whereabouts of the Monet. While I
admit that Russo's character figures out almost instantaneously who
has stolen the painting (cops in movies are just so smart!), this
didn't take away from the experience for me, since it gives more
time to let the romance between the two main characters develop.
The heart of the movie is their relationship (and all of the
pleasures that rich people partake in) and how they will make right
with the law and the stolen painting.
At this point, you might be asking, "Hey
man, this sounds a hell of a lot like 'Entrapment.' Does this movie
suck as bad?" Happily, it was the complete opposite. I thought
that everything worked in this movie. Brosnan plays rich very well
(but not as well as the best rich-guy actor in the world, Michael
Douglas) and he comes off as a guy that I believed could be smooth
in the business meeting or at the helm of a boat or sacking a host
of hot triks (misspelling intended). Russo (is she really 45?)
looks good here, and she is given an equal share of cool things to
do/wear/say. The only support of note in the movie is from Denis
Leary as the cop who leads the NYPD investigation into the robbery,
but he is good and doesn't break out into any trademark Leary-isms
about how pissed off he is.
I really liked the ending of this movie, and
there are little twists and turns along the way which make the movie
just a bit fresher than most Hollywood caper films. Music is of the
cool, jazzy variety, and it fits the action perfectly. Maybe it's
just me, but has there been a real lack of sex in movies this summer
(besides "Summer of Sam")? I was thinking about it because there is
some in this movie, and it kind of caught me off-guard. Again, I
just can't believe that Russo is 45...plus, there are plenty of rich
people touches, like the nicest offices in Manhattan, expensive
cars, jets, oceanside villas...I liked it all.
Overall, solid entertainment for everybody.
Rating: $7.50 Show
Comments? Drop me a line at
Bellview Rating System:
"Opening Weekend": This is
the highest rating a movie can receive. Reserved for movies that
exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development,
setting...or Salma Hayek. Not necessarily in that order.
"$X.XX Show": This price
changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently,
it is the $9.50 Show. While not technically perfect, this is a
movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.
"Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca",
but you'll have a great time watching. The $9.50 Show won't win any
Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see
"Matinee": An average movie
that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.
Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about
yourself. A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave
the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that
Lakers game last night?"
"Rental": This rating
indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your
friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one." Mostly forgettable, you
couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to
watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the
video store was out of copies of "Ronin." If you can, see this
movie for free. This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a
"Hard Vice": This rating is
the bottom of the barrel. A movie that only six other human beings
have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen. A Shannon
Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every
one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a
movie. Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or
"Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this
movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!
(Warning: strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard