"South Park: Bigger, Longer and
Directed by Trey Parker.
Written by Trey Parker, Matt Stone and Pam Brady.
Starring the voices of Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Mary Kay Bergman
and Isaac Hayes.
Release Year: 1999
Review Date: 7/1/99
I was trying to estimate, in the last few
minutes, how many movies that I've seen. 1000? 2000? The number
I was thinking about it because "South Park:
Bigger, Longer, and Uncut" represents, at only 85 minutes, the most
cussing that I've ever heard in any one single movie. You may
think, Justin, c'mon, Scorsese gets the word fuck into his movies
about 200 times...it can't be more than that?
I'm still in shock because the movie was so
offensive. Be warned: if you don't like black, Jew, religious, or
clitoris jokes, this movie is NOT for you. Because, all of these
subjects get abused unmercifully.
And, I'm not even a South Park fan. I think
the whole thing is a one-trick pony, and its TV ratings so far this
year have proved me right. However, even with all of that, the
movie is still pretty damn funny. It is half-musical, all-comedy,
which is a good and a bad thing. The musical number with the school
teacher and Cartman's "Kyle's Mom is a Bitch" songs were pretty
funny, but there are about 10 pieces total, and that number is way
too high. Some work, some don't, but they all got laughs because
they all have a sick amount of cussing.
The story involves the four main characters
of the TV show sneaking out on a Sunday morning to watch a new movie
called "Asses of Fire," whose main characters are Canadian and spend
the entire film-within-the-film cussing and setting their farts on
fire. The kids come out of the movie talking like their new movie
heroes, which eventually gets the kids in trouble and sends the
mothers of the four to start a new group called "Mothers Against
Canada." Eventually, this leads to World War III between the US
and Canada. But, the pace is very good (it IS a cartoon, after
all...no one wants to mess around developing character) and,
surprisingly, the directors (Matt Stone & Trey Parker) make a lot of
smart references to pop culture and how movies--at least in the
public's minds--influence children’s behavior. Good touch for what,
on the surface, just looks like an obscene movie.
But, not all of it works--there are a few
scenes with Satan and Saddam Hussein, all of which are either dumb
or VERY gratuitous--one of which involves a sound effect that I can
still hear in my mind. And, as I mentioned, there are too many
song-and-dance pieces. The black racism that occurs near the end of
the movie is actually pretty smart, but I asked myself why they
thought that it had to be included. Either way, I heard people with
me and around saying "why?" during the scene, which told me that it
would confuse more than it would amuse.
This weekend, if I can get someone to go
with me, I'm going to try to see
"Wild Wild West" and/or
Sam." Happy 4th of July!!
Comments? Drop me a line at
Bellview Rating System:
"Opening Weekend": This is
the highest rating a movie can receive. Reserved for movies that
exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development,
setting...or Salma Hayek. Not necessarily in that order.
"$X.XX Show": This price
changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently,
it is the $9.50 Show. While not technically perfect, this is a
movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.
"Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca",
but you'll have a great time watching. The $9.50 Show won't win any
Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see
"Matinee": An average movie
that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.
Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about
yourself. A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave
the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that
Lakers game last night?"
"Rental": This rating
indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your
friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one." Mostly forgettable, you
couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to
watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the
video store was out of copies of "Ronin." If you can, see this
movie for free. This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a
"Hard Vice": This rating is
the bottom of the barrel. A movie that only six other human beings
have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen. A Shannon
Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every
one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a
movie. Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or
"Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this
movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!
(Warning: strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard