"Scary Movie 3"
Directed by David Zucker.
Written by Craig Mazin and Pat Proft.
Starring Anna Faris, Charlie Sheen and Leslie Nielsen.
Release Year: 2003
Review Date: 10/30/03
The first was great, the second was
not...and now, the Wayans Brothers have handed over creative control
of the franchise to the guys that brought us “Airplane!”.
The result is a classic Matinee. “Scary
Movie 3”, like the first two movies, parodies horror movies. Unlike
the first two movies, this one is rated PG-13, so we get riffs on
PG-13 horror flicks like “Signs”,
“The Ring”, and “The Others.”
Then, we get random scenes based around
Reloaded” and a random joke from “Mars Attacks!”. Anna Faris
reprises her role as Cindy Campbell, do-all heroine that seems to
have a past ripped from, well, every single horror movie ever made,
but mostly one based on the Neve Campbell character from “Scream.”
This time around, she needs to deal with a rapping farmer named
George, a farmer that looks a lot like Charlie Sheen (well, it IS
Sheen), aliens, the President (Leslie Nielsen), and a mysterious
videotape that kills its viewers after seven days’ time.
David Zucker, director of classics like
“Airplane!” and “The Naked Gun” films, does a decent job of stepping
in and pinch-hitting for Keenan Ivory Wayans. He gets help from his
former employees, so Nielsen and Sheen (from the severely underrated
“Hot Shots!” flicks) provide solid relief, and the list of famous
co-stars in “Scary Movie 3” is long...and
distinguished..._______________. From the RZA and Macy Gray to
Denise Richards and Jenny McCarthy to Camryn Manheim and Simon from
“American Idol”, you get plenty of familiar faces in the film. By
the time George Carlin shows up as The Architect (from “Reloaded”),
you’re not sure if there was any stone unturned in getting cameos
for the final product.
The jokes that the famous folk are spittin’
out are sometimes hilarious, but often fall flat. Most are
forgettable, although Faris probably has more funny scenes for
herself in this film than the other two films put together. (Her
best bit comes near the finale, as she describes to her nephew Cody
how his genitalia has suffered over the years.) Scenes like the
Coors Light Twins parody work (even IF you have seen the trailer),
but some of the run-on jokes make you wish the editor had just cut
certain scenes altogether. Heck, the funniest scene in the film for
me is a scene that you will only laugh at if you have seen
“Airplane!”; I would imagine that 98% of the people this movie is
intended for have not even seen “Airplane!”, so when the scene
happens near the end of the film, I was laughing hysterically, and I
noticed that I was the only guy laughing in the whole theater. As
with all parody films, they are always better if you have seen all
of the films being ripped off, so I was sitting pretty but not
everyone will be so lucky.
I laughed, I didn’t cry, I wasn’t scared but
I wasn’t upset at dropping $7 to check out “Scary Movie 3.” And,
with a $50 million opening weekend (stunning, just stunning),
pre-production has apparently already begun on “Scary Movie 4”...so,
you better get used to seeing this franchise in theaters!!
Comments? Drop me a line at
Bellview Rating System:
"Opening Weekend": This is
the highest rating a movie can receive. Reserved for movies that
exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development,
setting...or Salma Hayek. Not necessarily in that order.
"$X.XX Show": This price
changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently,
it is the $9.50 Show. While not technically perfect, this is a
movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.
"Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca",
but you'll have a great time watching. The $9.50 Show won't win any
Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see
"Matinee": An average movie
that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.
Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about
yourself. A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave
the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that
Lakers game last night?"
"Rental": This rating
indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your
friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one." Mostly forgettable, you
couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to
watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the
video store was out of copies of "Ronin." If you can, see this
movie for free. This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a
"Hard Vice": This rating is
the bottom of the barrel. A movie that only six other human beings
have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen. A Shannon
Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every
one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a
movie. Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or
"Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this
movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!
(Warning: strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard