"Resident Evil: Apocalypse"
Directed by Russell Mulcahy.
Written by Paul W.S. Anderson.
Starring Milla Jovovich, Oded Fehr, Ali Larter and Iain Glen.
Release Year: 2007
Review Date: 9/22/07
Here's what I found out today on IMDB about
the director of the new "Resident Evil: Extinction" flick, Russell
HE DIRECTED NOT ONLY "HIGHLANDER", BUT
"HIGHLANDER II: THE QUICKENING"!!!!!
That pretty much sums up how the third
"Resident Evil" flick turned out, because not only does this sequel
miss the point of the video games (after the first two did a pretty
decent job of at least keeping in line with the games), but it also
is pretty bad at delivering good action throughout despite a very
easy platform from which to work.
Our girl Alice (Milla Jovovich, so unlucky)
is back again, this time with powers so great she can basically move
physical objects with her mind. The world has gone to shit
following the last outbreak of the T-Virus, which turned almost all
of the world's population into zombies. Traveling somewhere in
the West, she hooks up with a 30-person caravan of survivors led by
Claire Redfield (Ali Larter), a character that must be the sister of
Chris Redfield, the original game's lead character. Naturally,
their attempts to get out of the country--and go to Alaska, where
apparently there are no zombies--are hindered by the crazy Dr.
Isaacs (Iain Glen, from the second film,
Apocalypse"), who needs blood from Alice's body to complete a
program that will allow the mysterious Umbrella Corporation to
develop an anti-virus that should reverse the minds of the
flesh-hungry zombies to do good, not evil.
Or something. Jovovich has even less
to do in this third film than in the other two flicks, and this is a
bad thing, since the only character drawn up with any charisma is
the Alice character. As such, the film is just dumb (for lack
of a better term) in many long stretches, and the action scenes are
even worse than the last film. Oded Fehr and Mike Epps reprise
their characters from the last film and in a shocking twist, Epps is
completely unfunny this go-round, odd because even in the worst of
films, Epps can give you a laugh or two...not so here. Larter
adds nothing (the woman who played Alice's partner in the last film,
Sienna Guillory, would have been fine here); the film's climax is
nothing short of awful; for the game's fans, having the Albert
Wesker character (played here by Jason O'Mara) in the movie is cool,
but giving him nothing to do is ridiculous.
"Resident Evil: Extinction" is the worst
film in the series, tricky since this series wasn't exactly bad-ass
to begin with. Mostly awful, I'm giving this a Rental but that
doesn't mean you should follow my advice unless you need closure
with this series. Ugh!
Comments? Drop me a line at
Bellview Rating System:
"Opening Weekend": This is
the highest rating a movie can receive. Reserved for movies that
exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development,
setting...or Salma Hayek. Not necessarily in that order.
"$X.XX Show": This price
changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently,
it is the $9.50 Show. While not technically perfect, this is a
movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.
"Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca",
but you'll have a great time watching. The $9.50 Show won't win any
Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see
"Matinee": An average movie
that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.
Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about
yourself. A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave
the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that
Lakers game last night?"
"Rental": This rating
indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your
friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one." Mostly forgettable, you
couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to
watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the
video store was out of copies of "Ronin." If you can, see this
movie for free. This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a
"Hard Vice": This rating is
the bottom of the barrel. A movie that only six other human beings
have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen. A Shannon
Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every
one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a
movie. Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or
"Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this
movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!
(Warning: strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard