Directed by John Moore.
Written by David Seltzer. Based on the 1976 film of the
Starring Julia Stiles, Liev Schreiber, David Thewlis and Seamus
Release Year: 2006
Review Date: 6/5/06
Last week, I went to check out a freebie for
"The Omen" because I wasn't quite sure I wanted to drop real cash on
this one...but, in terms of a pleasant surprise, this remake of the
1976 horror film isn't too bad at all.
That's because I loved the freakin' kid.
As Damien, Seamus Davey-Fitzpatrick (as Japanese a name as there
ever was, in my opinion) seems to only have to do one thing: squint
and look innocent as he does it, which amazingly he is able to ride
all the way through the film's conclusion. I have not seen the
original, but in the new version, Damien is the son of an American
diplomat (Liev Schreiber) and his wife (Julia Stiles) in London, and
the day the kid turns six years old, REALLY weird shit begins to
happen. Could this be tied to the film's intro prequel, where members
of the Vatican convene to discuss the fact that a lot of weird shit
is going on all over the world on the exact day that Damien
was born six years ago? Or maybe the fact that Mom is having
strange dreams that always seem to feature REALLY weird shit?
I kind of liked the mix of horror and
thriller elements involved in "The Omen"; while never aspiring for
greatness, the storytelling is paced well, the bodybags are well
spaced out (and sometimes VERY bloody), and there are a couple of
good jumps placed in moments of prime scaritude (might be a word).
I liked the performances of the leads, but bits by name actors like
Pete Postlethwaite (continuing his career decline after that
horseshit from "Aeon
Flux" as Guy in White Jumpsuit in Space-Age Hot-Air Balloon) and
Michael Gambon as a crazed devil-killing consultant both really
suck. Mia Farrow is fun, though, as the
disturbingly-protective new nanny Mrs. Baylock.
But, the best part of the new film certainly
has to be Davey-Fitzpatrick and a variety of strange imagery that
makes up Mom's dream state. I think the best thing about the
Damien bits are that you never really get the sense that Damien is
happy any more, but people keep telling the parents how cute Damien
is, even though he doesn't smile at all after turning six years old
(well, almost never...). After some initial scenes detailing
what a pleasant child Damien is in archival footage--mostly home
videos--I love that he's not smiling any more, but everyone is
always like "Oh, your Damien looks so cute" even though he is
wearing the same scowl all the time. Hilarious.
Hey, at least "The Omen" is rated R and
stays true to bloody horror. Otherwise, this one was just
Comments? Drop me a line at
Bellview Rating System:
"Opening Weekend": This is
the highest rating a movie can receive. Reserved for movies that
exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development,
setting...or Salma Hayek. Not necessarily in that order.
"$X.XX Show": This price
changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently,
it is the $9.50 Show. While not technically perfect, this is a
movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.
"Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca",
but you'll have a great time watching. The $9.50 Show won't win any
Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see
"Matinee": An average movie
that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.
Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about
yourself. A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave
the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that
Lakers game last night?"
"Rental": This rating
indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your
friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one." Mostly forgettable, you
couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to
watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the
video store was out of copies of "Ronin." If you can, see this
movie for free. This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a
"Hard Vice": This rating is
the bottom of the barrel. A movie that only six other human beings
have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen. A Shannon
Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every
one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a
movie. Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or
"Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this
movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!
(Warning: strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard