Directed by Rob Zombie.
Written by Rob Zombie. Based on the 1978 film by John
Starring Malcolm McDowell, Scout Taylor-Compton, Tyler Mane and
Release Year: 2007
Review Date: 9/10/07
Take this seriously, whether you want to
believe it or not--the update of "Halloween", directed by your
friend and mine, Rob Zombie, isn't just not bad...it's pretty good!
You know the deal--this crazy kid named
Michael Myers (played as a 10-year-old by Daeg Faerch, who even
looks totally insane) kills nearly all of his family as a child, and
is sent off to an institution where he is cared for by Dr. Loomis
(in the original, Donald Pleasance; here, Malcolm McDowell) until
age 25. Naturally, evil can't stay caged up indoors forever,
so after breaking out of the asylum he attempts to hunt down his
little sister Laurie (Scout Taylor-Compton). Many, many people
have to die before our good doctor tries to take out the Myers guy
by himself. Even I know that cops can't kill
psychopaths...only PSYCHOLOGISTS WITH .357 MAGNUMS can.
If I saw the original "Halloween" uncut, I
don't remember that; as such, getting a blood-soaked R-rated version
of this original was brand new to me, and I thought that the horror
was well done here. The only distinct issue I have with
Zombie's remake of "Halloween" is its length; it runs, and runs, and
runs. There's at least half a dozen too many killings, and the
ending feels like it last forever. However, the majority of
"Halloween" is quite good, well performed, genuinely spooky (this is
aided by the return of John Carpenter's original score) and at
times, just plain nasty. Tyler Mane (he of wrestling and
Sabretooth-from-"X-Men" fame) does a good job of playing the big
stiff as an adult, especially in sequences where Myers has been
shot, maimed, stabbed or otherwise wounded but is still able to keep
the killing going! Taylor-Compton is adequate as the woman
stalked; there are a lot of other actors in this remake that you'll
swear you've seen somewhere before, but they are just unfamiliar
enough to not become a distraction.
I have not watched much good horror this
year, so Zombie's remake gives the genre a shot in the arm when they
needed it most. Now, the only question is: how many
remake sequels will we have to watch??
Rating: $9.50 Show
Comments? Drop me a line at
Bellview Rating System:
"Opening Weekend": This is
the highest rating a movie can receive. Reserved for movies that
exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development,
setting...or Salma Hayek. Not necessarily in that order.
"$X.XX Show": This price
changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently,
it is the $9.50 Show. While not technically perfect, this is a
movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.
"Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca",
but you'll have a great time watching. The $9.50 Show won't win any
Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see
"Matinee": An average movie
that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.
Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about
yourself. A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave
the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that
Lakers game last night?"
"Rental": This rating
indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your
friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one." Mostly forgettable, you
couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to
watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the
video store was out of copies of "Ronin." If you can, see this
movie for free. This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a
"Hard Vice": This rating is
the bottom of the barrel. A movie that only six other human beings
have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen. A Shannon
Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every
one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a
movie. Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or
"Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this
movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!
(Warning: strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard