"Deep Blue Sea"
Directed by Renny Harlin ("Die Hard 2").
Written by Duncan Kennedy, Donna Powers and Wayne Powers.
Starring Saffron Burrows, Thomas Jane and Samuel L. Jackson.
Release Year: 1999
Review Date: 7/31/99
"Jaws." "Jaws 2." "Jaws 3-D." "Jaws--The
Well, now that I think about it, the "Jaws"
series is the only theatrical set of shark movies ever made. There
were other underwater scary movies, but none featuring just plain
old sharks. "Deep Blue Sea" becomes the next in a line of possible
shark features, and--I hope you are sitting down for this!--it was a
pretty good movie! Let me rephrase:
That was a fuckin' good movie!
JUSTIN, COME ON NOW, PLEASE. I SAW THE
PREVIEW FOR THAT MUTHAFUCKA, AND IT LOOKED BAD...I MEAN, REAL BAD.
I'VE SEEN THAT MOVIE 100 TIMES, EXCEPT IT WAS CALLED "LEVIATHAN"
LAST TIME. AND COME ON, MAN--THAT SHOT OF LL, LOOKING ALL SCARED;
IF HE DOESN'T DIE IN THE FIRST TEN MINUTES, WELL, I'M JIMMY HOFFA.
MAN, I'M OUTTA HERE!
...Phew. Now that he's gone, I can tell you
again that if you think that you've seen "Deep Blue Sea" 100 times,
think again, because the writers of this movie have seen "Jaws",
"Alien", have seen all of the bad B-movies like it--and
make sure to keep you guessing right through to the end. And, I
have “Kickass” Simon and Gordon "Money" Stokes to back me up on the
fact that this one deserves the rating that I'm giving it.
A team of scientists aboard a
state-of-the-art facility in the middle of the ocean are conducting
tests to determine if the protein in a shark's brain can be used to
fight diseases like Alzheimer's. That's right, it is ridiculous.
But, it gives a good reason for the main financial backer of the
project (Samuel L. Jackson) to come out to the facility to see just
how the research is going. Of course, as the weekend
approaches--not to mention the biggest storm in the world--and the
majority of the ~50 person crew goes home, the three sharks at the
facility decide to go ape-shit at just the right time. So, the
eight people left on board experience some, uh, problems when night
falls, and of course, are left to fight off the sharks.
I'm afraid to review this movie further,
because it has some truly genuine twists and turns along the way
that I am not going to give up. But, some important notes:
-->Special effects: amazing
-->Scare factor: extremely high. If you
actually went against the SMRs and went to see
"The Haunting" and
you thought it was scary, you had better skip "Deep Blue Sea",
because there are a couple of real doozies in this one (those sharks
sure like flesh!). Now, this is no
"Blair Witch Project", which
allows me to interject once again: if you are at work right now
reading this SMR and have not seen "BWP", leave work immediately,
call in sick from your cell phone, and go see this movie! No
excuses now that it is in every theater under the sun.
-->Saffron Burrows (the research director):
fairly attractive, until a gratuitous shot of her pulling off a wet
suit; then, she was hot.
-->Thomas Jane, the Christopher Lambert-lookalike
who plays the shark hunter: bad-ass! This guy has got a future!
-->I have had six people ask me since I saw
the movie: does LL die? I'll let you find out for yourself...but
I'll just say this: he has some of the best bad lines of the year.
Really, there are no negatives (besides the
fact that all of the characters seem to be able to hold their breath
for 5-10 minutes underwater in shark-infested waters while
panicked--I didn't think this was possible, but it is the movies!);
this is just a good, fun time at the movies. Of course, it does
feature a lot of characters getting chewed to death, but if you can
get over that, you should be AG!
Rating: $7.50 Show
Comments? Drop me a line at
Bellview Rating System:
"Opening Weekend": This is
the highest rating a movie can receive. Reserved for movies that
exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development,
setting...or Salma Hayek. Not necessarily in that order.
"$X.XX Show": This price
changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently,
it is the $9.50 Show. While not technically perfect, this is a
movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.
"Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca",
but you'll have a great time watching. The $9.50 Show won't win any
Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see
"Matinee": An average movie
that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.
Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about
yourself. A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave
the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that
Lakers game last night?"
"Rental": This rating
indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your
friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one." Mostly forgettable, you
couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to
watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the
video store was out of copies of "Ronin." If you can, see this
movie for free. This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a
"Hard Vice": This rating is
the bottom of the barrel. A movie that only six other human beings
have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen. A Shannon
Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every
one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a
movie. Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or
"Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this
movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!
(Warning: strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard