Directed by Marcus Dunstan.
Written by Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan.
Starring Josh Stewart, Michael Reilly Burke, Andrea Roth and Juan
Release Year: 2009
Review Date: 8/4/09
Never even saw the trailer for the new
horror film "The Collector", but in some ways, that works
well...while the film is not great and its ending didn't leave me
that happy, the scares and gore in the film more than satisfied my
appetite for the occasional nasty genre flick.
Josh Stewart plays a thief fronting as a
construction worker; he has money problems thanks to his ex-wife
(I'm guessing she's an ex-wife; this is never specifically
addressed) and so after meeting with a crime boss, he takes off to
rob the house he's currently remodeling, which he knows has a safe
in the master bedroom. When he arrives and begins cracking the
safe, The Collector (Juan Fernandez) arrives a few minutes later
and...well, let's say that The Collector has a habit of collecting
things that most people don't. The rest of the movie is a
one-hour real-time cat-and-mouse game between the thief, The
Collector, and some unfortunate souls who have been Collected in the
It's not rocket science--good horror films
are rated R for a reason. In "The Collector", those reasons
include gratuitous blood/gore/violence, unnecessary nudity (with a
strip club scene thrown in just to make sure you know what's up),
and scares both real and volume-enhanced. Knowing nothing
about this film coming into it certainly made it better; with a
bunch of no-name actors (although, one woman is a bit player from
the TV show "Rescue Me"), anyone is just a click away from getting
axed, even small children! And, the setup of The Collector
setting up traps all over the house leads to some imaginative,
"Saw"-like deaths...ironically, the writers of the last three "Saw"
movies wrote/directed this film.
There are the standard moments of
unbelievability and killer-won't-die-ness; c'mon, all horror movies
need to have them, and then you add in the terrible child acting and
Stewart's own lack of talent, and you've got a film that isn't even
in the running for the horror film hall of fame. But, "The
Collector" will be a great rent when it makes its way to DVD in two
or three days, right after "Land of the Lost."
Comments? Drop me a line at
Bellview Rating System:
"Opening Weekend": This is
the highest rating a movie can receive. Reserved for movies that
exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development,
setting...or Salma Hayek. Not necessarily in that order.
"$X.XX Show": This price
changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently,
it is the $9.50 Show. While not technically perfect, this is a
movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.
"Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca",
but you'll have a great time watching. The $9.50 Show won't win any
Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see
"Matinee": An average movie
that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.
Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about
yourself. A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave
the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that
Lakers game last night?"
"Rental": This rating
indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your
friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one." Mostly forgettable, you
couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to
watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the
video store was out of copies of "Ronin." If you can, see this
movie for free. This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a
"Hard Vice": This rating is
the bottom of the barrel. A movie that only six other human beings
have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen. A Shannon
Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every
one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a
movie. Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or
"Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this
movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!
(Warning: strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard