Jodie Foster, cappin' fools? DMX track
in the trailer? I'm THERE!
Okay, I wasn't THAT excited to see the new
Foster revenge flick "The Brave One", but I typically like Foster
and she doesn't work very often, so that usually forces me into
seeing her films even though lately, she hasn't been that lucky.
(How unlucky? Two different people made jokes about freakin'
"Contact" when talking about Foster love interests in movies, and
"Contact" came out in '97.) In fact, sorting through IMDB,
she's only starred in six films in the last 13 years (she popped up
briefly in a couple others, including
last summer), odd even for someone who took time off to raise a
"The Brave One" is hampered mainly by its
lack of creativity; worse, if you've seen the trailer, you have
literally seen every single time Foster's character even shoots
anybody. Playing a New York City DJ who loses her fiancé in a
brutal attack by three hoods in Central Park, Foster is strong as a
woman (really) scorned by this act of violence and rather than
trusting that the NYPD will do its job and catch the killers, she
sets off on her own to put down anyone who gets in her way.
Prowling the streets at night with her handbag and her 9mm handgun,
this lady is a load that can't be stopped!
Because you probably saw at least one
commercial for "The Brave One", the surprises are non-existent; the
film gets its jollies from the rush of watching a normal woman
pushed to the brink cap everybody with no consequences.
In-between killings, we get to watch Good, Honest Detective Mercer
(Terrence Howard) and his partner, a sap named Vitale (Nicky Katt),
try to make sense of all of these random deaths. As my buddy
Brian noted, the cop sequences, in a word, suck. Or they blow.
You pick, but either way, they are bad. Even the sequences
where the Foster character tries to make sense of her newfound love
of killing bad people--mainly in the form of chattiness on her radio
show--aren't really well done, either.
But, the film gets a lot from the charisma
of both Foster and Howard, even if Howard's character is very poorly
written. Even though I'm going Matinee on this, it's better
left for a rental; you might enjoy it more in the comfort of your
own home, and you can skip through some of the bad cop dialogue
Comments? Drop me a line at
Bellview Rating System:
"Opening Weekend": This is
the highest rating a movie can receive. Reserved for movies that
exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development,
setting...or Salma Hayek. Not necessarily in that order.
"$X.XX Show": This price
changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently,
it is the $9.50 Show. While not technically perfect, this is a
movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.
"Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca",
but you'll have a great time watching. The $9.50 Show won't win any
Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see
"Matinee": An average movie
that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.
Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about
yourself. A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave
the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that
Lakers game last night?"
"Rental": This rating
indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your
friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one." Mostly forgettable, you
couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to
watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the
video store was out of copies of "Ronin." If you can, see this
movie for free. This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a
"Hard Vice": This rating is
the bottom of the barrel. A movie that only six other human beings
have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen. A Shannon
Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every
one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a
movie. Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or
"Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this
movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!
(Warning: strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard