Directed by Joel Schumacher.
Written by Jason Richman and Michael Browning.
Starring Anthony Hopkins and Chris Rock.
Release Year: 2002
Review Date: 6/13/02
Who allows this shit to happen?
Who allows movies that star anybody with
“Sir” in their name to be released that are this poor?
Is Chris Rock becoming a Chris Rock cliché?
Is this the worst film of the year?
No idea, no idea, yes sirree and pretty damn
“Bad Company” is, in the words of former
roommate Keith “Sports Fan” Karem, total and complete dogshit. It
is so bad as to be walk-out-of-the-theater bad, but I always stick
around hoping for a film to get better and in this case I lost once
This isn’t as bad as
“Windtalkers” (which is
getting ridiculously-good praise from the press; if anyone goes to
see that film, please let me know), but given that Sir Anthony
Hopkins is the star of “Bad Company”, it is really fucking close.
Wow, this POS is bad! WOW!
The plot of this film, which has something
to do with a bomb that could take out New York City, is irrelevant.
Here’s what is important:
Chris Rock needs to consider quitting work
on fictional motion pictures. Stand-up comedy movies, fine...but,
avoid studio films at all costs. He is a horrible actor, and his
loud, screaming black man phase is looking worse and worse on him.
(Amazingly, Chris Tucker does this better now, and he has the worst
voice for this in the history of loud screaming black guys ever.)
Rock yells his way through the final 30 minutes of “Bad Company” and
the crickets were louder than the fucking gunfire in my theater, his
lines were so unfunny.
Joel Schumacher might now have locked up the
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Oscar with this dud. His ups are really
up--“Tigerland”, “St. Elmo’s Fire”, “Falling Down.” But, when he
bombs, like with “8MM” and series-murderer “Batman & Robin”, he
kills shit, and “Bad Company” is just as bad as “Batman & Robin”
ever hoped to be.
The rare action-comedy film that features no
laughs or any quality action, “Bad Company” should be avoided at all
costs. Luckily, I got to see this for free...and even then, I
thought this thing sucked.
Rating: Hard Vice
Comments? Drop me a line at
Bellview Rating System:
"Opening Weekend": This is
the highest rating a movie can receive. Reserved for movies that
exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development,
setting...or Salma Hayek. Not necessarily in that order.
"$X.XX Show": This price
changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently,
it is the $9.50 Show. While not technically perfect, this is a
movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.
"Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca",
but you'll have a great time watching. The $9.50 Show won't win any
Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see
"Matinee": An average movie
that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.
Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about
yourself. A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave
the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that
Lakers game last night?"
"Rental": This rating
indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your
friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one." Mostly forgettable, you
couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to
watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the
video store was out of copies of "Ronin." If you can, see this
movie for free. This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a
"Hard Vice": This rating is
the bottom of the barrel. A movie that only six other human beings
have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen. A Shannon
Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every
one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a
movie. Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or
"Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this
movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!
(Warning: strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard