2001 Bellview Awards
The Drive for 75 was a success. But,
success is a relative issue, since I only saw about 1/4th of the
national releases from last year. This year: The Drive for 100
will now begin! But, enough about that: on with the awards!
Unless this is your first Bellview, you
already know how much I love this movie. So, I won't bore you with
"In the Bedroom"
"The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship
of the Ring"
"A Beautiful Mind"
"Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back"
-->Worst Flick--"Final Fantasy: The
Sure, the movie sucks...but, what sucks even
more than the movie is the fact that this film cost $140 million to
make, and it only grossed about $40 million of it back. Thankfully,
this means that we won't get a sequel.
"The Tailor of Panama"
"What's the Worst That Can Happen?"
-->Top Five Acting Performances, Female
Sissy Spacek, "In the Bedroom"
-->Top Five Acting Performances, Male
Guy Pearce, "Memento"
"A Knight's Tale"
"The Man Who Wasn't
Ed Norton (playing two roles in
and Haley Joel Osment ("A.I.") just missed on this one.
-->Biggest Surprise Flick--"The Fast and
I won't lie--even though I love Vin Diesel,
I thought this movie wasn't going to be all that good from seeing
previews. Then, someone hit that little red NOS button on their
steering wheel, and Michelle Rodriguez showed up, and every size,
shape and color of hot woman sashayed onto the screen. I can't wait
for the sequel, which will start filming later this year.
-->Biggest Disappointment--"Tomb Raider",
"The Royal Tenenbaums",
"Ocean's Eleven" (tie)
"Ocean's Eleven" was hurt by too many stars
and not enough excitement in a movie where the heist seems secondary
to Brad Pitt on a cell phone. Did you notice that the Eleven built
a replica of the Bellagio's vault in about three days? Ridiculous.
"The Royal Tenenbaums" was good, it just wasn't nearly what
"Rushmore" was, and that is where my disappointment lies. And,
Angelina Jolie gives a surprisingly great performance and is
perfectly cast as Lara Croft in "Tomb Raider"...it is just too bad
that the movie surrounding her sucked to high heaven. Big breasts
and big guns do not a great film make.
-->Movie I Wish I Had Rated
Hey, everyone makes mistakes, right? Well,
after watching "Pearl Harbor" again over Christmas, I would probably
drop it from a Matinee to a Rental. The Pearl Harbor sequence in
the middle of the film is still excellent, as is Alec Baldwin's
performance as a hotshot over-the-hill flyboy. But, the sappy
romance that drives us through the first 90 minutes of the film is
atrocious, and I almost fell asleep watching it again. Horrible!!
Director Michael Bay is getting worse with every film: after
directing the entertaining "Bad Boys" and the more-entertaining "The
Rock", he made the horrific "Armageddon" and now this film. He is
slated to direct "Bad Boys 2" in 2003 or 2004, and I am already
worried about that one!
-->Best Flick Nobody Saw--"Calle 54"
I would have thrown in "Fat Girl" here, but
"Fat Girl" is not showing in every city (and it never will) and
isn't out on video quite yet. I saw "Calle 54" with my friend
Caitlin not necessarily because we wanted to but because it was one
of the three films showing on the night that we wanted to see a
flick at the DC Filmfest last year. Man, did we get lucky. An
homage to Afro-Cuban jazz by a French filmmaker, this film is a joy
to watch and features great performances by the profiled artists, a
couple of whom you may have heard of before, including Tito Puente's
last on-screen performance before his death last year. And, like
"Buena Vista Social Club", this is a soundtrack that you have to own
in order to continue your rep as Coolest Guy in Town.
-->Top Ten Scenes from 2001:
The audition scene (with Naomi Watts), "Mulholland
Drive." Mesmerizing, and far and away the best scene of the
Chaucer's (Paul Bettany) first joust
speech, "A Knight's Tale." Hilarious.
Opening shot of Don Logan (Ben
Kingsley), "Sexy Beast." Frightening.
End sequence, "Fat Girl." Harrowing.
The heist sequence, "The Score." The
way De Niro pops that safe is just plain cool.
Final fight sequence (with Jet Li),
"Kiss of the Dragon." Bad movie with this one saving grace.
The Don Cheadle outtake,
"Rush Hour 2."
David Aames (Tom Cruise) running through
an empty Times Square,
"Vanilla Sky." Surreal.
Freddy (Tony Shalhoub) discusses options
with Ed (Billy Bob Thornton), "The Man Who Wasn't There."
End fight sequence,
"Iron Monkey." In
terms of filmmaking, this is as tricky as it gets.
Comments? Drop me a line at
Bellview Rating System:
"Opening Weekend": This is
the highest rating a movie can receive. Reserved for movies that
exhibit the highest level of acting, plot, character development,
setting...or Salma Hayek. Not necessarily in that order.
"$X.XX Show": This price
changes each year due to the inflation of movie prices; currently,
it is the $9.50 Show. While not technically perfect, this is a
movie that will still entertain you at a very high level.
"Undercover Brother" falls into this category; it's no "Casablanca",
but you'll have a great time watching. The $9.50 Show won't win any
Oscars, but you'll be quoting lines from the thing for ages (see
"Matinee": An average movie
that merits no more than a $6.50 viewing at your local theater.
Seeing it for less than $9.50 will make you feel a lot better about
yourself. A movie like "Blue Crush" fits this category; you leave
the theater saying "That wasn't too bad...man, did you see that
Lakers game last night?"
"Rental": This rating
indicates a movie that you see in the previews and say to your
friend, "I'll be sure to miss that one." Mostly forgettable, you
couldn't lose too much by going to Hollywood Video and paying $3 to
watch it with your sig other, but you would only do that if the
video store was out of copies of "Ronin." If you can, see this
movie for free. This is what your TV Guide would give "one and a
"Hard Vice": This rating is
the bottom of the barrel. A movie that only six other human beings
have witnessed, this is the worst movie I have ever seen. A Shannon
Tweed "thriller," it is so bad as to be funny during almost every
one of its 84 minutes, and includes the worst ending ever put into a
movie. Marginally worse than "Cabin Boy", "The Avengers" or
"Leonard, Part 6", this rating means that you should avoid this
movie at all costs, or no costs, EVEN IF YOU CAN SEE IT FOR FREE!
(Warning: strong profanity will be used in all reviews of "Hard