Game Reviews

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Game Reviews

Recent additions for Xbox 360:

"Borderlands"
"Resident Evil 5"

Recent additions for PS3:

"Uncharted: Drake's Fortune"
"Uncharted 2: Among Thieves"

 

I think sometimes that video games might actually be more dangerous than crack.  The best games can consume your entire life--you spend your work day excited to get home to play a game over again, or you rework strategy in your head for a spot where you got stuck the night before, or you hum some of the music from "Mega Man" because it was just so catchy!!  Then, you get home and neglect your family, your friends, and your responsibilities because there's just too much to do in front of your game box:  kill Nazis, arrange shapes to fit other shapes, enter codes or talk smack online.  I am amazed I still have friends, because games have ruined many a social gathering for me because I haven't wanted to get off my ass.

Luckily for you, I play a ton of games and write reviews about almost all of them.  For the games I haven't played, I know some folks that game as much as I do, so their reviews appear here as well.  Nothing too long, mind you; just enough to give you the idea that you need to play the game, or not.  Since I have a PlayStation2 and an Xbox in heavy rotation, you shouldn't feel left out in the cold...unless you own a GameCube.

I rate games pretty much how I rate movies...it's a value system.

 

Bellview Rating System:

"Opening Weekend":  Buy this game right away, and don't ask me any questions as to why that's a good move.  A game experience that will almost guarantee repeated controller abuse, lots of ManScreaming and high resale value, you will assuredly play this bad boy for months on end. 

"$40":  Usually after games have been out for a while, they drop in price slightly, or can be bought for slightly cheaper in combination with other new games.  Usually, that's about $40.  You'll feel good getting the game for this price, since it isn't quite run-out-and-get-it-right-now good, but it has enough game in the box for a few weeks' worth of enjoyment.

"eBay":  This game is not too bad, but you'd be better off buying it used from either half.com or eBay.  You also might let a friend buy this game, let s/he beat it, and then try to buy it from them to make them feel better.  Yes, this does tend to feel like "Sloppy Seconds."

"Rental":  Like my cousin Ron, you should always rent games that you aren't sure about first, to make sure that your $50 is going towards something worthwhile.  For games in this category, this is the maximum amount of money ($5) and/or time (3-5 days) you'll need to either gain satisfaction from the game, or beat the game in its entirety.  Rental-rated games are also sometimes perfect for a weekend when you are going to be at home on your ass, with some time to kill.

"Dogshit":  Games like this should have never been released.  If you play this game for any reason, you will regret every second of the experience.  Further, if you can get this game for free, don't do it, because even for FREE, it will still be a negative experience for you!

 

Average age of a console gamer?  29 years old.  justin@bellviewmovies.com